A while back I had some medical issues. I refer to it as my body breakdown. It started with my back going “out” as they say. Then the compensation injuries set in including a torn calf muscle and 2 frozen shoulders. For 10 months I did not work or work out, dress myself or even wash my own hair. I spent months in a lot of pain, on NSAIDS and getting physical therapy. I am over that now and I found that the winding road leading me out of my condition had more to do with listening to my inner guidance than anything medical. I had a lot of time to think and meditate. I was up in the middle of the night struggling with the pain, sleeping on the couch as it was more comfortable than the bed, and wishing I was still small and had the comfort of my mother who had recently passed away. I closed my eyes and asked Mom for advice.
In my mind I saw my mother and father in a blank landscape sitting on a stone bench and went to join them. They were dressed in white robes and were elderly but peaceful and beautiful. I sat with them on the bench and we held hands. Mom suggested that we look at my life in the form of a living timeline. The line began with baby/childhood and we noticed the strong family support system, sensitive mother, dependable father. We looked at the teen angst years and college and early working years. During that period I had a bout with rheumatoid arthritis, coincidently also lasting 10 months, which I cured by changing my constitution with macrobiotics, teaching me that I am responsible for my own state of health. Then on to marriage and raising four children, and one by one seeing them leave home. At this point the timeline ended, as if there was nothing over the horizon. What was to fill in the next segments?
Mom asked me if I still wanted real estate sales in my life as it is a job I had been passionless about, keeping at it only for the flexible schedule. After talking about it we decided I should keep it but approach it differently, completely on my own terms, working mainly on referrals and going with my gut more on selecting customers to spend my time on. That became one branch off the end of my timeline. The second branch involved choosing an area of interest for fun and relaxation. We settled on working with animals and came up with a few volunteering ideas. The last branch we added was home and family. We decided I should pitch in and help my husband with one of the many projects around the house and indulge my interest in the domestic arts. To keep in touch with the children and go to visit them, and to maintain contact with my extended family as well, extending love and companionship to all of the above.
We then looked at the three new braches on my timeline where previously there were none. I liked how it looked and was excited. Then before Mom and Dad faded away I asked Dad why he did not speak at all and he said “Because you asked for your mother!” And that is true, I did. And Mom told me not to worry about the excessive amounts of NSAIDS I was taking for pain and just to take things one day at a time. I just felt so much better the next day.
I do believe my body froze up on me because I was going down a path in life that seemed dismal and depressing, to stop me dead in my tracks and force me to ask myself if this is where I really wanted to go. Eventually my issues all unwound themselves and have not returned except as small physical reminders when I get off my track.